I deal with depression.
Something that I’ve recently admitted to myself in the last couple of years. I would just randomly go through phases of being unmotivated, sad for no apparent reason, and simply just hating everything. Some phases worst than others, but they always came randomly. It’s rough because things would be going great, then BAM it came again.
Well, when I started making certain changes, things progressively got better. At times I could feel when the “phase” was coming. They also wouldn’t last as long, but I had to stay on top of my changes.
- Being self-aware.
- Getting real with myself.
- Spending time in nature.
- Eating right.
- Working out.
- Having fun by myself.
- Laughing. Just laughing.
- Trusting life’s process.
These are just some of the things that I did that helped in major ways. Like I said, I have to really stay on top of these things but how? Life is freaking hard at times. I procrastinate and some times, I’m just downright lazy.
What does going through depression effect?
- My state of mind
When I’m in the moment of being depressed, my mind is all over the place. I’m vulnerable, sensitive, and don’t really know what to think all while thinking everything. I originally wanted to make this post about working through depression, as mentioned in the title. Literally working a job while being depressed, but as I started typing I figured I may as well talk about all aspects of life. Depression makes me feel unmotivated and not inspired to work. Depression makes me over think with relationships. Depression makes me spend money I don’t have on things I don’t need. I would spend hours on end crying and thinking of suicide while knowing I would never actually go through with it. I felt numb and lost. Every failure scrolled through my head. I was reminded of everything I’ve ever done wrong.
“I don’t want to feel this way. Where do I go from here? What do I do with myself? How will I ever overcome this? There’s no point.”
If there’s one thing I’ve learned about depression, it’s that everyone goes through it differently.
We all think and act out differently. Ok, maybe there’s two things I’ve learned. The other one being that, you are not crazy for being depressed. I would beat myself up for letting the phase come my way again. It was embarrassing and I wasn’t sure if I should pick myself back up again.
Sure enough one way or another I was shown a sign letting me know that I need to get my shit together. Pick myself back up and get back to living life. Get back to my self-care routine. Get back to my dreams, passions, and goals.
So how can I stay on top of my routine to make sure when the next phase hits I can work my way through it, rather than around it?
- Staying around positive people.
- Feeding my body with health. Healthy food and healthy activities.
It’s important that I, we, us. That we keep ourselves grounded. In order to do that we need positive energy. Not toxic people who do nothing but drag themselves down. Nine times out of ten someone who drags themselves down, ends up dragging you down too… if you hang around them long enough. Not toxic foods that affect our energy and mood. I truly notice a difference when I add more fruits and vegetables to my diet.
There’s no doubt that I will continuously get hit with a phase, but again taking care of myself will help me go through the phases. It helps by giving me the courage to talk to someone, the appreciation for emotions, and understanding that this too shall pass.
I came here to be raw about what and how I feel. For the longest time I hid this out of not knowing really what this… the phase was nor did I even know where to begin on explaining it to someone. It feels good though. It feels good to finally open up and it’s going to feel even better when someone who experiences this exact thing read this. I’ve always thought I was alone in my feelings and I so badly just wanted to meet someone I could talk to who understood. So if you’re reading this and you need someone to vent or talk too, my inbox is always open.