It’s ok not to be ok, but it’s not ok to stay that way forever.
Don’t let your mind trick you into loving self-pity. My mind has done that to me before.
For a while I got wrapped up in self-pity to the point I never tried to get out of it. In fact, I fell in love with it! I focused on what wasn’t going right versus what was. Finally, I reset my mind. Got refocused on positive things and readjusted my attitude.
Resetting, refocusing, and readjusting can be a daily thing. An hourly thing. And even a monthly thing. But, it’s always a thing.
Always make time to reset and give yourself grace for doing so. I find it’s either a battle of making sure we schedule in time to readjust or it’s readjusting often and beating ourselves up for it.
It’s a battle of making sure we schedule in time to readjust
I get it. I’ve been there. I got so caught up in the success of my blog and everything else going in my life, that I totally forget to check in with my mind, body, and soul. I was hardly sleeping because of #bloglife and #momlife. I definitely was not eating healthy in fact I stayed eating Arbys and redvines then coffee and red bull at night to keep me up. Before I knew it, I hit rock bottom. My body felt disgusting and I did not feel good emotionally which unintentionally led me to take a couple months off my blog.
During those months,
- I checked in with myself
- Brought awareness to what was and wasn’t working
- Got some rest.
- Started working out.
- Bonded more with family.
- The whole nine yards.
Now that I’m back in the blogging game I have balance in each area- career, hobby, family, religion, etc. Now I am thriving in all aspects. Yes, hard days still come but I am making sure I schedule time for me, myself, and I. I have to first be my best for me before I’m my best for anyone else. Truly dig deep inside of who I am. Nourish that person. Love that person. Be true to that person and in turn, I will be my best as a mom, daughter, wife, business owner, etc.
It’s readjusting often and not beating ourselves up for it
“I love sharing my story.” Something I often say but my story is forever changing. Every day brings new growth. New waves. New chapters. New characters. New everything. And that’s one amazing thing about life but sometimes we get so caught up in those new waves we think we’ll never make it through to a new chapter. That our book has ended. My friend made a status the other day that really hit me. It was about not being where you want. I’ve definitely felt this. I’m a single mom living with my parents… c’mon now. Yet, I’m still over here blogging and dreaming big… but ya know? When I saw her status it made me realize that I’m not alone. And me and her probably aren’t alone either. So, I need to ask. Have you ever felt stuck? Like everything you’ve done has failed? Like you’re never going to get to the next chapter? Like you’re not where you want to be? Have you compared yourself?
Well, you aren’t alone.
- Give yourself grace
- Continue to refocus as many times as you need to
- Do something about it: hire a life coach, get a gym membership so you can work it out, cry it out, journal.
If you need help during your next wave, join the tribe. This is meant to used during the resetting phases.
And again, give yourself grace. We tend to start beating ourselves up for messing up or for feeling sad then before we know it we’re still in the destruction mindset which won’t lead to anywhere except for more destruction. We start questioning every decision we’ve ever made. Soaking in self-pity. Wondering why we aren’t making it in life, yet according to social media everyone else is. You had a bad day or a bad moment? Ok, cry it out and keep it pushing. Waves are inevitable. So stop making yourself feel like crap because they keep popping up.
It’s not about how many times you fall, but about what you do when you fall.
Do you stay there or get back up?